16岁的Nokukhanya Shabalala说:“在成长过程中，我从不孤单. Nokukhanya有17个兄弟姐妹，从不缺少玩伴. Food, however, was sometimes hard to come by.
“With so many siblings, you learn to eat fast!” she laughs. 诺克斯(她最喜欢的名字)充满了她在一个南非大家庭长大的故事. Some of her stories are delightful; it’s easy to imagine Noks playing soccer with her brothers and taking on the role of “teacher” with her sisters. But other stories aren’t so easy to recall; Noks’ mother, Sylvia, died when Noks was only seven.
A common thread runs through Noks’ stories. “God has been faithful to me all my life,” she says.
Eighth grade was a year of “firsts” for Noks. 虽然她的家人很清楚，她生来就有旅行的血液——她在文法学校的时候第一次独自乘坐巴士旅行——但诺克斯对南非以外的世界一无所知.
“在朋友们向我介绍辣妹组合的音乐之前，我都不知道还有‘海外’这个词,” she laughs.
Grace was so enticing. 在祭祖仪式中，你必须举行仪式来让祖先高兴. 但恩典意味着我不需要做任何事来让上帝对我满意.
那年晚些时候，Noks的父亲让她进入了南非Dierkisdorp的Siyathemba中学. “我父亲没有意识到这是一所由路德会传教士创办的基督教学校，”她解释说. 他只知道去那里的女孩接受了最好的教育.” In fact, Noks’ family practiced ancestor worship, 相信鬼魂会影响活人的日常生活.
“Ancestor worship leads to a lot of fear,” Noks explains. “You are always striving to appease the ancestors. 当事情出错时，这意味着祖先不高兴. Sometimes, when things were very hard, 巫医将作为我们和祖先之间的中间人. 他会把动物骨头扔在地上，如果骨头指向你，那你就是问题所在.”
在诺克斯上学的第一年，她就接触到了优雅的概念. “Grace was so enticing,” she exclaims. 她解释说:“在祭祖仪式中，你必须举行仪式来让祖先高兴。. 但恩典意味着我不需要做任何事来让上帝对我满意.” Noks was overcome with relief, 但她对失去祖先保护的恐惧要过好几年才会消退.
Noks Shabalala和她在危地马拉神学院传教队工作时遇到的一个小女孩微笑. Photo courtesy of Noks Shabalala.
“我永远不会忘记我终于告诉家人我是基督徒的那一天，”她严肃地说. 在姑姑和兄弟姐妹的包围下——其中一些是她帮助抚养长大的——她的父亲召唤了她祖先的灵魂，把他们对她的祝福和保护从她身上移走.
“我记得我哭着祈祷，‘耶稣，你最好是真实的. 因为如果你不是，我就失去了一切，”诺克斯说. But God would not abandon Noks. 在接下来的几年里，诺克斯经历了上帝坚定不移的忠诚和恩典.
In 2004, Noks graduated high school and joined Themba Trust, 这是一个支持Siyathemba中学的路德教会筹款组织. 她被要求搬迁到德国，并担任辛巴信托基金会的传播大使。. 这只是诺克斯世界旅行和神学研究的开始.
In 2010, 诺克斯被选为比勒陀利亚路德神学院女执事研究项目的试点, South Africa. She found she was well-suited for seminary life. Fueled by the encouragement of her pastor, professors and mentors, 诺克斯参加了欧文康考迪亚大学的女执事前研究项目. 她只用了三年就完成了学业，然后又登上了另一架飞机——这一次, headed for China. 她领导了假日圣经学校，并为中国中学生教授英语和德语.
我记得我哭着祈祷，“耶稣，你最好是真实的。. Because if You are not, I have just lost everything.'
如今，诺克斯在圣何塞的康考迪亚神学院(Concordia Seminary)潜心学习神学. 她正在那里攻读精神关怀专业的文学硕士学位. 诺克斯对神学训练的投入与她对事工的亲力亲为相匹配. She spends her free time partnering with Caring Ministries, 一个致力于满足圣路易斯市难民社区实际和精神需求的组织. Louis’ Hodiamont neighborhood. 诺克斯认为，为这个社区服务是在为她人生的下一个篇章做准备. After completing her program at the Seminary, 她希望回到非洲去照顾和教导那些曾经的儿童兵.
自从她14岁离开家去Siyathemba中学学习以来, 诺克斯用多种语言在世界各地分享福音(她精通11种语言)。. “When you are immersed in a culture, 如果你想交流，你别无选择，只能学习这门语言,” she says. That’s true in more ways than one. “我在康科迪亚神学院接受的教育使我有能力为那些失去一切的人服务,” she says. “我正在学习如何以别人能听到的方式分享福音. I am learning to speak the language of those who suffer.”
诺克斯的旅程横跨四大洲，在多个国家进行，跨越三大洋. As a child, Noks was never alone. The same is true today. 很明显，上帝的灵一直陪伴着她，指引着她的每一步.
诺克斯的旅程是漫长的，而这才刚刚开始.
本文最初发表于2019年春季号 Concordia Seminary magazine.